What Makes A Bad Mother?

by 21stcenturymummy on August 12, 2010

Sometimes I feel like the worst mother in the world. I get consumed with guilt because…

I’m not the most patient person in the world

I do occasionally shout or get cross

I let my 2 year old watch Finding Nemo – I had forgotten it’s actually quite scary!

I couldn’t be a stay at home mum

I send her to nursery 2 days a week

I did let her watch TV for an extra hour this week (so I could get on top of the tidying)

I’m too strict

I’m not strict enough

I use my Blackberry/Laptop too much sometimes

I get exhausted

I like a glass of wine or 2 in the evening

I like having time to myself every now and then

I don’t believe breast-feeding is always best

I can’t do it all by myself (I have a cleaner!)

I make things up as I go along

I don’t always get it right

Then I think about what really makes a bad mum

The ones that spend the entire day shouting, screaming and swearing at their children (like the one I can hear all day from my window)

The ones whose children have to watch whilst they get drunk or do drugs

The ones that hit their children, neglect them or abuse them

The ones that let other people hit, neglect or abuse their children

The ones that leave children to fend for themselves, when they are simply too young

The ones that don’t teach their children the difference between right or wrong

The ones that don’t give their children any love

The ones that don’t do their best to be the best mum they can be

I’m not the perfect mother, but I try my very best to be the best mum in the world.

Next time you think you’re being a bad mum, which I know we all do from time to time, have a think, are you really?

{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }

rachel August 12, 2010 at 5:17 pm

I love u =]

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21stcenturymummy August 13, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Ah, thanks :)

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rachel August 12, 2010 at 5:17 pm

I love u =]

Reply

rachel August 12, 2010 at 5:17 pm

I love u =]

Reply

21stcenturymummy August 13, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Ah, thanks :)

Reply

marketingtomilk August 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm

This post rocks. SHould be read by all mums. DAILY.
M2Mx

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marketingtomilk August 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm

This post rocks. SHould be read by all mums. DAILY.
M2Mx

Reply

marketingtomilk August 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm

This post rocks. SHould be read by all mums. DAILY.
M2Mx

Reply

Chloe August 12, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Thanks Janine – I actually kind of needed this this evening xxx

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Chloe August 12, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Thanks Janine – I actually kind of needed this this evening xxx

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Chloe August 12, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Thanks Janine – I actually kind of needed this this evening xxx

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Jessica Chivers August 12, 2010 at 6:35 pm

You only like having time to yourself ‘sometimes’? I think that makes you a saint. You’re doing a grand job for sure and sound very normal.

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21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:36 pm

More like an angel with a crooked halo :)

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Jessica Chivers August 12, 2010 at 6:35 pm

You only like having time to yourself ‘sometimes’? I think that makes you a saint. You’re doing a grand job for sure and sound very normal.

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21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:36 pm

More like an angel with a crooked halo :)

Reply

Jessica Chivers August 12, 2010 at 6:35 pm

You only like having time to yourself ‘sometimes’? I think that makes you a saint. You’re doing a grand job for sure and sound very normal.

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21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:36 pm

More like an angel with a crooked halo :)

Reply

Susie August 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Whilst this makes me feel better about what kind of mum I am, it also makes me sad for the kids who are being bought up by bad mothers :-(

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21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

It is really sad. It’s like the horrendous woman I can hear screaming, shouting and swearing at her kids all day long, when my window is open. It breaks my heart as the kids are actually really sweet, but what future have they got?

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Susie August 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Whilst this makes me feel better about what kind of mum I am, it also makes me sad for the kids who are being bought up by bad mothers :-(

Reply

21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

It is really sad. It’s like the horrendous woman I can hear screaming, shouting and swearing at her kids all day long, when my window is open. It breaks my heart as the kids are actually really sweet, but what future have they got?

Reply

Susie August 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Whilst this makes me feel better about what kind of mum I am, it also makes me sad for the kids who are being bought up by bad mothers :-(

Reply

21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

It is really sad. It’s like the horrendous woman I can hear screaming, shouting and swearing at her kids all day long, when my window is open. It breaks my heart as the kids are actually really sweet, but what future have they got?

Reply

Ellen Arnison August 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Hurrah well said. I think the biggest thing that marks ‘just fine’ mothers from proper bad mothers is that PBM’s doing even consider they might be bad mothers.

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Ellen Arnison August 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Hurrah well said. I think the biggest thing that marks ‘just fine’ mothers from proper bad mothers is that PBM’s doing even consider they might be bad mothers.

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Ellen Arnison August 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Hurrah well said. I think the biggest thing that marks ‘just fine’ mothers from proper bad mothers is that PBM’s doing even consider they might be bad mothers.

Reply

Hayley August 12, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Fantastic post hun! Brilliant! Well written!

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Hayley August 12, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Fantastic post hun! Brilliant! Well written!

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Hayley August 12, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Fantastic post hun! Brilliant! Well written!

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angelsandurchinsblog August 12, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Fabulous. Thank you for such a brilliant list. Now off to find that glass (or two) of wine.

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angelsandurchinsblog August 12, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Fabulous. Thank you for such a brilliant list. Now off to find that glass (or two) of wine.

Reply

teresa August 13, 2010 at 9:30 am

it’s the summer holidays, it’s a lovely sunny day, shouldn’t I be picknicking or something, but really need to get on and paint the house …. racked with guilt – really needed your post today thanksxx

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teresa August 13, 2010 at 9:30 am

it’s the summer holidays, it’s a lovely sunny day, shouldn’t I be picknicking or something, but really need to get on and paint the house …. racked with guilt – really needed your post today thanksxx

Reply

teresa August 13, 2010 at 9:30 am

it’s the summer holidays, it’s a lovely sunny day, shouldn’t I be picknicking or something, but really need to get on and paint the house …. racked with guilt – really needed your post today thanksxx

Reply

teresa August 13, 2010 at 9:30 am

it’s the summer holidays, it’s a lovely sunny day, shouldn’t I be picknicking or something, but really need to get on and paint the house …. racked with guilt – really needed your post today thanksxx

Reply

Sam Thewlis August 13, 2010 at 9:47 am

*sniffs*

Great post. Really, really good. I am touched and snivelling!

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Sam Thewlis August 13, 2010 at 9:47 am

*sniffs*

Great post. Really, really good. I am touched and snivelling!

Reply

Sam Thewlis August 13, 2010 at 9:47 am

*sniffs*

Great post. Really, really good. I am touched and snivelling!

Reply

If I Could Escape . . . August 16, 2010 at 9:19 pm

What a brilliant post and thanks ever for submitting it for the BMB carnival!

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If I Could Escape . . . August 16, 2010 at 9:19 pm

What a brilliant post and thanks ever for submitting it for the BMB carnival!

Reply

If I Could Escape . . . August 16, 2010 at 9:19 pm

What a brilliant post and thanks ever for submitting it for the BMB carnival!

Reply

Holly@itsamummyslife August 17, 2010 at 11:09 am

How brilliant. Will remember this when I have mother guilt. x

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Holly@itsamummyslife August 17, 2010 at 11:09 am

How brilliant. Will remember this when I have mother guilt. x

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Holly@itsamummyslife August 17, 2010 at 11:09 am

How brilliant. Will remember this when I have mother guilt. x

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kirsty815 August 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Awww you’re probably a wonderful Mummy! I think we all go through moment where we feel a little inadequate and not worthy of the title “MUM”, but that’s when you give your kids a little extra hug, tell them how much you love them and be thankful that you don’t partake in the second half of your post! xx

Reply

kirsty815 August 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Awww you’re probably a wonderful Mummy! I think we all go through moment where we feel a little inadequate and not worthy of the title “MUM”, but that’s when you give your kids a little extra hug, tell them how much you love them and be thankful that you don’t partake in the second half of your post! xx

Reply

kirsty815 August 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Awww you’re probably a wonderful Mummy! I think we all go through moment where we feel a little inadequate and not worthy of the title “MUM”, but that’s when you give your kids a little extra hug, tell them how much you love them and be thankful that you don’t partake in the second half of your post! xx

Reply

kirsty815 August 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Awww you’re probably a wonderful Mummy! I think we all go through moment where we feel a little inadequate and not worthy of the title “MUM”, but that’s when you give your kids a little extra hug, tell them how much you love them and be thankful that you don’t partake in the second half of your post! xx

Reply

kirsty815 August 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Awww you’re probably a wonderful Mummy! I think we all go through moment where we feel a little inadequate and not worthy of the title “MUM”, but that’s when you give your kids a little extra hug, tell them how much you love them and be thankful that you don’t partake in the second half of your post! xx

Reply

The Saving Mom August 17, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Too true! Thanks
~Jessica

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The Saving Mom August 17, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Too true! Thanks
~Jessica

Reply

The Saving Mom August 17, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Too true! Thanks
~Jessica

Reply

The Saving Mom August 17, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Too true! Thanks
~Jessica

Reply

Alex April 8, 2011 at 9:42 pm

There is no such thing as A Bad Mother….

Reply

21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

It is really sad. It’s like the horrendous woman I can hear screaming, shouting and swearing at her kids all day long, when my window is open. It breaks my heart as the kids are actually really sweet, but what future have they got?

Reply

21stcenturymummy August 12, 2010 at 9:36 pm

More like an angel with a crooked halo :)

Reply

21stcenturymummy August 13, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Ah, thanks :)

Reply

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