Pink or blue?

by admin on March 29, 2011

I was recently asked to comment for a magazine on whether I had a preference for boy or girl. The correct answer, of course, would be “all I want is a happy, healthy baby”.

Obviously that is all anyone really wants, but how many mothers- or fathers-to-be really don’t have a preference? Surely plenty of mums want daughters to take to ballet or dress like a princess and dads want sons to play football or rugby with?

It’s funny how or why certain thoughts develop in your mind. I have always wanted boys. The thought of having a girl terrified me. In my mind I thought girls would be difficult and complicated – perhaps this came from my own personal experience as a daughter, as well as going to an all girls school. To me, boys, whilst physically harder work, would be are much easier to deal with on a mental level.

Everyone talked about the special bond daughters have with their fathers and sons with their mothers. I wanted a mummy’s boy :)

Oh yes, and I didn’t like pink, wasn’t into shopping for cute clothes or doing girlie things.

My first baby was girl. It was important for me to find out the sex before she was born so I wouldn’t feel any sense of disappointment at the birth. Doing it like this worked. I had time to get used to the fact I wasn’t having a boy and I absolutely adored her from the minute she was put into my arms.

She has changed me. I now like pink, love shopping for cute clothes and love doing girlie things! However, I was right. Girls are complicated and difficult, and I’m not sure I handle her as well as I would a boy.  There are already plenty of clashes between us. She certainly knows how to push my buttons and is definitely a Daddy’s girl. She has mood swings, refuses to talk and I’m often on the receiving end of endless cutting remarks, such as “I don’t love you mummy” or “I am not your best friend”. I see flashes of her as a teenager and I know it’s not going to be pretty.

I am now pregnant with my second – another girl. I’ve had a few miscarriages since the birth of my daughter, so I am of course completely and utterly delighted to being having another baby no matter what the sex. But, I do feel sad that I haven’t got a boy and I feel like a bit of failure too. I’m not sure I’ll get another chance to try for one! I have also heard (from my consultant) that once you have two of the same sex, there is a 70% chance of having a third.

Are there many people out there who can say they genuinely don’t want one sex over the other? Did you have a preference? Did you feel guilty if you did?

Am I right, are boys easier than girls? Or have I got it all wrong?


Rhian March 29, 2011 at 5:34 pm

We didn’t have a preference – but it did really ‘feel’ like we were having a girl. So when the scan said it was a boy it took a while to get our heads round! I have to admit I think a boy is easier for all the reasons you give above. Our son is 2.5 now, and a very typical boy – practical, loves climbing things, plays with trains and buses and tractors all the time… (though he does love his pink toy buggy as well). He’s also a definite mummy’s boy, but then he’s still so young it’s hard to separate this from him just being a slightly clingy toddler!

wuzzle April 13, 2011 at 6:17 pm

I have boy, girl, boy and i wanted, Girl, Girl and Girl haha, i love pink, dresses & barbies :p i was completely sure my first ‘surprise’ was a girl,…until DS1 was handed to me. 2nd on the eve of my wedding i went to a gender scan and was overjoyed that i was having a girl, couldn’t wait to tell everyone at my wedding 😀 and 3rd time round for more practical reasons i had hoped it was a girl because there is only 12 months between the youngest two, they would have to share a room and could have used hand me down clothes, toys etc. LOL but of course it was DS2 that showed up on the scan …really wasn’t bothered though as i had one of each by then would have just been cheaper and more practical 😉

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